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bóna

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it was dark as i drove the point home...
"I’ve always rejected being understood. To be understood is to prostitute oneself. I prefer to be taken seriously for what I’m not, remaining humanly unknown, with naturalness and all due respect."
Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet
  • Twenty Four Hours · Joy Division · Closer

Twenty-Four Hours by Joy Division

So this is permanence, love’s shattered pride
What once was innocence, turned on its side
A cloud hangs over me, marks every move
Deep in the memory, of what once was love

Oh how I realised how I wanted time
Put into perspective, tried so hard to find
Just for one moment, thought I’d found my way
Destiny unfolded, I watched it slip away

Excessive flashpoints, beyond all reach
Solitary demands for all I’d like to keep
Let’s take a ride out, see what we can find
A valueless collection of hopes and past desires

I never realised the lengths I’d have to go
All the darkest corners of a sense I didn’t know
Just for one moment, I heard somebody call
Looked beyond the day in hand, there’s nothing there at all

Now that I’ve realised how it’s all gone wrong
Gotta find some therapy, this treatment takes too long
Deep in the heart of where sympathy held sway
Gotta find my destiny, before it gets too late…

“Perhaps it’s true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house—-the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture—-must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstituted. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story.” ― Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

“Perhaps it’s true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house—-the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture—-must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstituted. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story.”Arundhati Roy, The God of Small Things

In your room Where time stands still Or moves at your will Will you let the morning come soon Or will you leave me lying here…

In your room
Where time stands still
Or moves at your will
Will you let the morning come soon
Or will you leave me lying here…

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about."
Rumi
  • Atmosphere · Joy Division · +− Singles 1978-1980

Atmosphere by Joy Division

Walk in silence,
Don’t walk away, in silence.
See the danger,
Always danger,
Endless talking,
Life rebuilding,
Don’t walk away.

Walk in silence,
Don’t turn away, in silence.
Your confusion,
My illusion,
Worn like a mask of self-hate,
Confronts and then dies.
Don’t walk away.

People like you find it easy,
Naked to see,
Walking on air.
Hunting by the rivers,
Through the streets,
Every corner abandoned too soon,
Set down with due care.
Don’t walk away, in silence,
Don’t walk away.

You used to be so young  It was going to take so long  It had almost gone…

You used to be so young
It was going to take so long
It had almost gone…

So far so near  You got lost  Somewhere between  What happened to you?

So far so near
You got lost
Somewhere between
What happened to you?

"I dream of cats with stars in their fur."Erin Hunter

  • Sunny (Mercury Edit II) · Marvin Gaye

Sunny (Mercury Edit II) by Marvin Gaye

Sunny, yesterday my heart was filled with rain.
Sunny, you smiled at me and really eased the pain.

Oh, the dark days are done, and the bright days are here,
My sunny one shines so sincere,
Sunny one so true, I love you.

Sunny, thank you for the sunshine bouquet.
Sunny, thank you for the love you’ve brought my way.

You gave to me your all and all,
Now I feel about ten feet tall,
Oh, Sunny one so true, I love you.

Sunny, thank you for the truth you’ve let me see.
Yeah sunny, thank you for the facts from A to Z.

Oh my life was torn like wind blown sand,
Then a rock was formed when you held my hand.
Sunny one so true, I love you.

Yes, yes.

Sunny, thank you for that smile upon your face.
Sunny, thank you for that gleam that flows with grace.

Oh you’re my spark of nature’s fire,
You’re my sweet complete desire.
Sunny one so true, I love you.

Sunny, thank you for that smile upon your face.
Sunny, thank you for that gleam that flows with grace.

Oh you’re my spark of nature’s fire,
You’re my sweet complete desire.
Sunny one so true, I love you.

"I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom."
Edgar Allan Poe
  • Walking In My Shoes (Demo) · Depeche Mode · Sounds Of The Universe [Deluxe Box Set]

Walking In My Shoes (Demo Version) by Depeche Mode

I would tell you about the things
They put me through
The pain I’ve been subjected to
But the Lord himself would blush
The countless feasts laid at my feet
Forbidden fruits for me to eat
But I think your pulse would start to rush

Now I’m not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes

Morality would frown upon
Decency look down upon
The scapegoat fate’s made of me
But I promise now, my judge and jurors
My intentions couldn’t have been purer
My case is easy to see

I’m not looking for a clearer conscience
Peace of mind after what I’ve been through
And before we talk of any repentance
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

Now I’m not looking for absolution
Forgiveness for the things I do
But before you come to any conclusions
Try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes

You’ll stumble in my footsteps
Keep the same appointments I kept
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes
If you try walking in my shoes
Try walking in my shoes

find something real…

find something real…

a rising phoenix reconstructed…

a rising phoenix reconstructed…